Thursday, May 20, 2010

Whooooo are yoooouu? Who who, who who?

Even though my commute is much shorter these days, I still have plenty of time to listen to the morning radio stations. On one this morning, they were discussing women changing their last names when getting married. This came about because one of the hosts will be on The Marriage Ref tonight with her husband regarding this issue. The show had her husband explaining why he was upset she still hadn’t changed her last name after 4 years and it basically boiled down to “It’s tradition and she should do it.” Very few things get me in an uproar, but this is one of them. Why in this day in age are we still thinking that women have to change their name?

The “tradition” that is so often referred to came about back when women were property of men. When the woman married, proprietorship changed hands from her father to the new husband, hence the maiden to married last name. Times have changed, women can vote and work and yet some still expect a woman to take her husband’s name immediately upon marriage.

Some points that were brought up this morning were good ones, I’ll admit to that. One was that if the parents have different last names and decide to have children, it can make it hard for the whole family. I know this first hand. Those of you who know me, know that my mother did not change her last name when she married my dad. Thus, my siblings and I had hyphenated last names, Mom’sLastName-Dad’sLastName. Not only was that long enough as it was, but my mom’s last name is a ridiculously long German name that no one on Earth can pronounce correctly unless you’re part of my family. So growing up, I was that kid whose name substitute teachers fumbled with at attendance. And most of the time, I went by my dad’s shorter last name, purely for brevity. Also, official school forms had to be redone many time because people would fill them out automatically assuming we all had the same last name. Or others just thought my parents weren’t married. This, frankly, wasn’t that big of an issue because I grew up in Boulder, land of the Hippies. I did like the attention that was brought on by having such a unique name, but nonetheless, there are some challenges to having parents with different last names.

However, there were some opinions on the show that just angered me. We also got a lot of mail at the house that was addressed to Dad Mom’sLastName, but luckily it didn’t upset him since it was usually just junk mail. The morning show host’s husband did mention being called Mr. Wife’sLastName on occasion, but that it bothered him terribly. If it’s so annoying to be Mr. Wife’sLastName, why is it any better for her to be Mrs. Husband’sLastName? I don’t understand why the woman is expected to just roll over and accept a whole new identity because it’s not normal for a man to do likewise. I would think that if a guy was stuck with something like Smith or Jones, they’d be happy to switch over to their wife’s last name. Someone called in and said “If you really loved your husband, you would do this for him.” Umm, I’m pretty sure she proved that by marrying him.

Here’s where I’m like M. Night Shamalayan and throw in the twist (or where you call me a hypocrite). I took Aaron’s last name when we got married. *GASP* Even though I got to a point where I was proud of having a name like no one else, it still got rather tiresome filling it out on documents. So when I was looking at my options and saw keeping my 13 letter maiden name or changing it to only 8 letters, it wasn’t too hard of a choice. And my first name is still very unique (see above: HippyLand) so I still get “Ohh, what an interesting name!” If we do decide to have children, there won’t be the confusion that I grew up with. Finally, Aaron’s family is a semi-traditional Japanese one, so I knew it was important to him. But my main point is that I had a choice! I’d like to think Aaron would love me just as much if I still had my maiden name. Wouldn’t you Aaron? (please say yes, don’t make me look stupid now…)

It’s refreshing to see some women not falling victim to the idea that changing names is just something they have to do. I have plenty of friends, who did decide to change, but they moved their maiden name into the middle. That way, they still hold onto that previous identity. I would have done that except the Social Security office computer might have exploded from entering 5 long names at once! I’ve also heard of the husband and wife creating a new family name out of both their names and I love this idea. Why not add a new surname into the world? A woman should be allowed to choose what she wants to do with her name and not be judged one way or another for it. Isn’t that right, Ms. Phoebe PrincessConsuelaBananaHammock?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

A New Beginning

I'm starting a new adventure today! Last Friday was my last day commuting down the interstate to a job where I was responsible for filling people's mailboxes with junk mail. Today, I actually work in the same town I live in and do something for the public good. I'm really looking forward to this change and am excited for what the future brings!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Music to My Ears

I was tagged by Meaghan of Wild Celtic and highly encourage you to check out her blog. I love her thoughts on movies, entertainment and life. When one of her recent posts was about music, I couldn't resist playing along!

1. Open up your iTunes, music player, spin the CD, whatever, hit shuffle and tell us what is the first song to play...

Runaway by Mae

2. Name your top 5 favorite bands/musicians of all time

Brand New, Fall Out Boy, Mae, Eve 6, Unwritten Law ( I wrote about them all here!)

3. What was your first CD to own? (8 track, Record, CD, MP3 for the newbies)

This is slightly embarrassing, but it was the Men in Black soundtrack.

4. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?

Just mine, has to be 311 and Blink-182. If I also count Aaron's, we add in Alkaline Trio, Social D and Cake.

5. What was the last song you listened to?

Tangled Up by New Found Glory

6. What song would you say sums you up?

Aside by The Weakerthans I could listen to this song over and over and over and over (I think you get it)

7. What’s your favorite local band or band that originated from your hometown?

Five Iron Frenzy

8. What's the greatest concert you've ever been to?

Oof, tough one. Probably seeing Incubus at the Budweiser Events Center, such a more intimate show than I was used to with them. And Mae at the Aggie. Also, my first Warped Tour. I know I couldn't limit it to one...

9. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?

Jesse Lacey from Brand New. I'd love to get into his head.

10. What was the greatest decade for music?

I think I'm too young to answer that one :)

11. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?

Hands down, Garden State.

12. What’s the most awful CD/record/etc. you’ve ever bought?

You remember Chumbawumba? Of course you do! I'm sure I'm not the only one who owned that crap.

13. What's your favorite band t-shirt or poster?

I love my Punchline 37 jersey and Blink-182 poster from the First Date video:


14. Rolling Stones or The Beatles??

Beatles if I'm forced to.

15. What is the one song you would most like played at your funeral? Your birthday? While on a romantic date?

Hmm, for my funeral I'd picked Jesus by Brand New. I'd have to go with a classic, Happy Birthday by New Kids on the Block for my birthday. My friends and I would get this played on the loudspeaker at school for each of our birthdays, even when we were in high school. Cheesy, but hilarious! And for a romantic date, I'll say Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton.

I'm going to tag Amy, Teresa, Erin, Angie and Keri. Enjoy!